Overcame the fears, now see the tears
by Darke Eco Freak
Summary: Your childhood fears never really leave you, they remain hidden in the shadows waiting to pounce. Oh sure you'll think you've outgrown them but with each fear, they comes a tear. The sequel to 1001 Fears of a Speedster, hope you people like this one as well.


**DEF: Gods, it's _felt_ like five years since I finished 1001 Fears, damn was that a ride. Anywho, here's the beginning to the ****squeal, saying this up front. All the afflictions and diseases as well as their causes and symptoms are true, as stated by my therapist. Also, Vita's out of the hospital but she's still sick and not allowed to read much, so my cousin and her bf, who's also my cousin, are going to take over.**

_Ravyn: Yeah, that cousin thing, I'm her cousin through my grand-aunt on her mother's side. And since Robi asked me ever so nicely, I agreed to beta this for her, although I am more of a Yu-Gi-Oh fanantic. Theifshipping, Puppyshipping and Blindshipping/Puzzleshipping all the way!_

_**Gabriel: As for me, I'm her cousin's cousin on the father's father's side, so technically, me and Rave ain't related in any way. I got recruited by the first crazy and the second crazy made me do it, I don't even watch the show, I prefer Superman and Greenlantern.**_

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Five years later people would think he got out of his pit of despair easy peasy lemon squeezy right? After all, it was the nanites that were fucking with his brain but just how crazy was he in the first place if he believed the damn nanites?

Scarecrow had made him face each and every one of his fears, Gods knew he had a lot, thousands probably, and everyone thought that after his suicide attempt, he went back to being happy, go-luck Wally West, wrong. He'd slipped into depression, he'd gone back to cutting, he'd had insomnia, the therapist had diagnosed him with PTSD and anxiety disorders. He was, in short, fucked up most perfectly.

To make matters worse, his team was changing, M'gann and Superboy had the fight to end them all, Kaldur turned out to be Black Manta's son and left the team after Tula's death. Robin became Nightwing and Tim was Robin now, no one liked to talk about Jason, the team had grown and changed and he had quit.

Roy, he didn't even know what to say for him, they were all messed up in their little ways, some more than others but they'd faced a thousand and more fears of a speedster, he could put on a million faces no one else noticed.

He'd been discharged two days before, two days during which doctors had constantly been up and down in his room, checking everything from his temperature to the level of cholesterol in his bloodstream, any and every thing. He thought they were only doing it because they would have to answer to the Bat if anything happened to him and really, who wanted to wake up upside down over a pit of flames?

Uncle Barry had forbidden him from returning to school for the next two weeks, the teachers thought he was sick with dengue or something and he'd received ten cards crammed full of get-well wishes and signatures. He shifted slightly to stare at them, one had a velociraptor riding a shark with the caption underneath saying 'Seems Legit' He'd smiled at that one, another had the famous Pedobear in a nurse uniform with a cup full of lollipops, one even had Kid Flash giving the thumbs up and a speech bubble wishing him a 'speedy' -insert pic of speedy here- recovery, Dick got him that one.

His room at Aunt Iris' had been his for as long as he could remember but it still felt strange, almost claustraphobic, as though someone were watching him. He shook his head rapidly to get rid of the stupid idea, he was safe here, nothing bad would happen to him ever again, he was safe.

He let out a breath, emptying his lungs the way Uncle Barry had taught him when he'd first gotten his powers, the way he would calm himself down. In and out, easy, slow, calm, think about something nice, think about Artemis, think about Rob. Okay, so not nice thoughts, well they were nice thoughts, each individual kiss, the one on board the watch tower after they'd fought the Justice League and the one right after he'd woken up from his suicide attempt. Speaking of which, weren't those illegal?

He groaned, just great, now he had felony to deal with on top of everything else in his life, just freakin perfect, and his mind kept wandering back to those kisses. Artemis, that had been one full of elation and just a bit hysterical, they were running on adrenalin, they were over the moon, litterally. It was happy and sweet and just so right at that moment, that one kiss at that exact second would push them from tentative friends to more.

And then there was the one with Robin. So soft and reassuring, too reassuring, Robin trusted him so much, believed in him when he didn't even trust himself and then the tears had started. The kiss had set him off but it wasn't because it was bad, never! More like it was too good, too good for him at least.

He'd spent years with Rudy telling him he was a good for nothing little shit, a freak, a pathetic excuse for a son, hell for a human being, and he had believed him. The sad part about it all was that he still loved Rudy and for the exact same reason he believed the man in the first place, because he was his father.

He had grown up hearing that you had to love your father because that was just how it was. For a while he had even thought the beatings were normal, that everyone's dad beat them into a pile of bloody meat when they did the slightest thing wrong, or even when he felt like it. He hadn't known better until he'd gone to secondary school and they got the whole talk on child abuse, but by then it had been too late for him.

He knew what would happen if he let anyone know about the beatings and by that time he'd gotten his powers as well so there'd been no need. Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris had talked to him individually and together about the abuse, that if he ever wanted to talk about it, that they were there and that if he didn't want to tell them, to at least talk to Robin and Roy, or not-Roy.

He'd promised and smiled and reassured them but deep down, he knew he wouldn't say a word, it was too finely ingrained, too much a part of his very make up for him to stop now. He had grown up with the motto, 'Keep your mouth shut or I'll shut it for you.' so no, he wouldn't talk to anyone about the abuse because truthfully, it didn't bother him that much.

Which led to what _**did **_bother him and that would be the 'visions' he'd been having for the last few months. Robin had explained to him how it had worked, that the first night had been the implantation, when he'd had that cut that poked through his cheek, his tongue ran over the scar unconsciously, the nanites had been in the air, a bit too large to properly implant through inhalation.

The concoction of the combined toxins had caused the hallucinations the first few seconds and the irratabilty for the three weeks, and his poor diet. The second had been to introduce a stronger form of the toxin to help jumpstart the nanites' preprogrammed instructions of fucking with his mind. His body had tried to fight off the toxins and sent the nanites into a state of suspended animation, they were still active, but not as active as they were supposed to be. He heard voices and had the mood swings but the third dosage really kicked it into overdrive.

According to Robin, the girl he'd tried to save, Angeline, was nothing more than a clever anamatronic, there had never been an Angeline Dixon, the funeral he'd gone too had been a set up. The antidote Robin had given him had shocked the nanites out of their suspended animation and they had gone to work with a vengeance, working to make up for lost time and adapting stupendously to his new fears. Their primary function had been to kill him after all, who would kill him depended on him, if they had found him to be reckless and an adrenalin junkie, they would've pushed him to jump off Mt. Everest, or something just extreme.

Still, it was hard to believe that Angeline had only been a part of him, was he really so self destructive? Well he knew the answer to that now didn't he? He lived with abuse, he was a superhero and he actively annoyed superpowered beings who could kill him without breaking a sweat, so yes, he was suicidal.

He groaned, casting a glance at the lighted alarm clock, three in the freakin morning and he was still up obsessing over this shit. For the sake of all that was scientific! Why couldn't he fucking sleep?

A pillow flying at supersonic speeds exploded on impact with his bedroom door, the resulting feather shower did not help with his already pissy mood. He hadn't been able to sleep for more than two hours for nearly two weeks, it was bloody ridiculous!

It wasn't as though he had energy to burn either, he was ready to keel over dead any second, he was _**that**_ tired, but his body just refused to send him off to dreamland. Maybe some magical being who was really using science to power themselves, possibly Klarion, was bored and thought he would be a good play thing.

He sat up, running both hands through fiery red locks, tugging harshly. His eyes burned, his body felt heavy, he could barely focus on any one topic for more than a minute, not that that was saying anything but his usual attention span was ten minutes at least. Apparently a family of acrobats had taken up residence in his stomach and was trying to surpass the Flying Graysons, was it wrong for him to wish them the same fate?

Gods, he was tired, and irritable and just plain pissed off! Pale hands slid from red hair to cover jaded emerald orbs, fingers digging into the skin until it broke and crimson liquid dripped onto off white sheets. Sure he might have overcome the fears but they had exposed the fine cracks in his mind, they had torn him apart and now he was finally going to break.

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**DEF: Was actually going to be longer but I cut it there. The insomnia crap I kinda ramped up seeing as he is a Speedster, as for the two weeks thing, I'm taking his time with Angeline into account as well, so yeah.**

_Ravyn: Well DEF doesn't own Young Justice or any DC characters, although she'd love to, the plushies don't count._**  
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_**Gabriel: Here by force, please help. Hope all her old fans will return and new ones as well. Tell us what you'd like to see and she'll work on it.**  
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